


In My Bed

by impressmyism



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Lyrics by Amy Winehouse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 10:41:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21073565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impressmyism/pseuds/impressmyism
Summary: Brooke realizes that as things are changing positively for her, one person is missing from her life and on purpose. The struggle of trying to get someone back into your life.





	In My Bed

**Author's Note:**

> Just a hold up for the text portion: Bold = Vanjie & Bold + Italics = Brooke

He didn’t know when it started or even ended.

Just one day realized that the one person he thought would always be there, wasn’t.

How do you respond to something like that? Was it his fault? Was it timing? Was it… he couldn’t think of any more explanations off the top of his head. Instead he abruptly scrolled past a certain guy’s instagram post to hopefully find the one he was looking for.

And he did.

There he was, smiling big, sitting in what looked to be an airport, looking… good. He’s always looked good but now there was this glow? Has there always been a glow or is he just noticing it? He’s noticed the physical change, too. His arms were more defined, muscular, he’s seen all the stories of seeing him and Silky in gyms together. Hell, he noticed that when he saw Vanjie on stage at WTW in Chicago in awe.

It’s like a new Vanjie had emerged out like a butterfly and all he was left with was the past wrapped in a cocoon.

Brock, he… he was content to where everything was at in his life. Gigs were prominent and up, he had Drag Race Canada to do and he was comfortably dating but nothing serious. It’s funny how when everything seems aligned, something had to be out of place.

He and Vanjie were still on good terms. There wasn’t anything wrong between them so why the sudden shift? It was easy to get into his head, lost in his thoughts when it came to his… ex, his first boyfriend, his first everything.

Brock was currently back in Canada for a quick moment to be with his family before his stint in South Africa. He had a few calls here and there between Steve and Courtney, getting everything put together to make his travel as smooth as possible. He even tweeted and eventually posted on social media his excitement to go, meeting new fans, performing a new song, all of that and got a lot of “good luck”, “best wishes” and “be safe” from fans and queens but one was missing.

If he missed him so much, wait, he missed him?

Fuck.

_Fuck_.

_ **Fuck.** _

“I fucking miss him.” Brock whispered to himself as if he was ashamed or scared to admit such a thing out loud. He jerked up, thrown off by his phone announcing a new notif from Vanjie on instagram. It wasn’t a live but a story. This was really the only way he knew about what was going on in his life, now that he wasn’t a huge part of it anymore. Anything new that was happening in Vanjie’s life, he was one of the last to know.

His finger wavered over the highlighted circle of Vanjie’s story and he decided to bite the bullet. It was two in the morning, around the time he would be up anyway. He braced himself for a meme or something that could imply anything. Instead all he got as a screenshot of a song Vanjie was currently listening to.

It was Amy Winehouse. The song was “[In my Bed](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdi_yuSgQw8)” off the album Frank.

He hadn’t heard of that song.

Who didn’t know Amy Winehouse but Brock was unfamiliar with the song. He opened up Apple music and typed in Amy Winehouse, clicked on the only result and scrolled down to reach the “albums” section. There was Frank and there was the song at the eighth slot.

He clicked on it as it loaded and immediately played.

The horns were electric. Amy crooned over what sounded like a flute as she sang about being with someone that seemed to be an end.

_Wish I could say it breaks my heart_  
_ Like you did in the beginning_  
_ It's not that we grew apart_  
_ A nightingale no longer singing…_

Was this a sign?

A five minute song that was made his heart pick up the pace. His airpods flowed the lyrics through his head and down to his heart, some of it went down into his stomach to create butterflies.

_Yours is a familiar face_  
_ But that don't make your place safe_  
_ In my bed my bed my bed…._

It was the closest Brock had felt to feeling what Vanjie could possibly be feeling. The song ended and yet the urge to call him had slowly crept up his spine and through his fingers. Maybe calling would be too much. He wouldn’t be too surprised at this point if he blocked his number. Maybe a text is easier. It was just words, right? No actual speaking.

No heart in his throat threatening to choke him and stop the potential word vomit. Brock rubbed his scruffy face, pulled out one airpod and went to his contacts to find Vanjie under Jose. God, when was the last time they even spoke to each other, like really talk? Chicago didn’t count, he saw him and they talked but it was very… uneventful. Very much like talking to a stranger and he didn’t want that. He didn’t like that. Brock un-paused Amy and continued to let the album continue to play. Maybe he could get inspired. Maybe he can find a sign through a lyric to send back.

Nothing needy.

Well, maybe he was needy for some kind of attention. It wasn’t the kind of attention he was getting throughout dating. No, he was craving for something heavier, deeper, familiar.  
  
I heard [Love is Blind](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHUBkPb0ytQ) began to play through shuffle.

_I couldn't resist him_  
_ His eyes were like yours_

This song was calling for his attention.

While the song continued to play out of both airpods, he then selected on Vanjie’s name in the messages app, spying that the last time they had sent any kind of text towards each other was three weeks prior to Chicago.

How do you go from everyday or every other day to almost a month of not speaking?

Brock let out a deep breath and typed out something and lingered before hitting the send option. He went back to scrolling through in his Instagram feed as his mother’s home settled into complete silence with both airpods in. He liked a few posts, made a story of him listening to Amy and followed some new friends before a new notif showed up at the top of the screen in “messages”.

This was the moment of truth and it came faster than he assumed.

**vanjie**  
_Thursday, Oct17, 2:58 AM_  
did she win you over?

He assumed that the “she” was Amy. He immediately responded back.

**_Oct 17, 2:58 AM_**  
_You are everything. He means nothing to me._

The grey bubbles appeared on the screen as if Vanjie was typing but then they disappeared. And then re-appeared only to disappear again.

**Oct 17, 3:00 AM**  
What are you talking about?

_**Oct 17, 3:02 AM**_  
_Such a funny thing but every time you're near me I never can behave_  
_ You give me a smile and then I'm wrapped up in your magic…_

Brock let out a giggle and stuck his tongue in between his teeth. He’s got him on the hook, now he was ready to bring him in.

About a couple minutes passed before Vanjie responded again.

**Oct 17, 3:05 AM**  
Are you  
Are you wooing me with Amy?

**Oct 17, 3:05 AM**  
You can’t mess with Amy’s lyrics, ho

Brock smile widened further.

**_Oct 17, 3:06 AM_**  
Is it working?

The grey bubbles appeared and disappeared again. And then complete silence for about five minutes. Brock removed one of the airpods and moved to sit up further against the headboard of the bed. He was only dressed in a pair of sweatpants and nothing else, the light from the television was glaring against his eyes.

**Oct 17, 3:11 AM**  
What do you want

Shit. What did Brock want? Did he want his cake and eat it too? Have Vanjie back in his life in some capacity while dating around and possibly flaunting it in his face? He wanted him back as a friend, that was for certain but he never closed the door on Vanjie. He might have been an idiot at times but he wasn’t a dumbass to let someone like Vanjie go.

_**Oct 17, 3:12 AM**_  
Call me. Please. I want to talk to you.

The ball was now in Vanjie’s court. Brock put himself out there, now he hoped he would receive something in return. He then decided to switch music over to something else, Billie was decided. For the first time in a long time, he took the first steps to getting his relationship with Vanjie back on track. But when he didn’t get anything in return within the first thirty minutes after sending that text, he started to get antsy. Maybe it was too late. Maybe Vanjie was finally scared off.

Suddenly his phone began to ring and vibrate against his thigh, spooking him. “Oh God” he mumbled to himself, glad no one was around to witness him almost jumping out of bed.

When Vanjie’s name came across the screen, his shoulders stood a bit taller, broader, he was ready to take on this challenge called bringing in the hurricane Jose Cancel to shore and well, maybe things weren’t too late to start figuring out.  
  
Except now they can do it together.  
  
_Fin_?

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to Amy Winehouse the other day, I got inspired by the song (one of my favorites of hers) and the plot bunnies didn't want to let me go until I got this out of my system. Songs are "In My Bed", "Love is Blind" and "Moody's Mood for Love/Teo Licks" off the Frank album.
> 
> Also follow me at @impressionism on tumblr, I'm on there way too much.
> 
> Also also, oops?


End file.
